tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2345649318068185717.post6016791123448253846..comments2023-05-25T04:27:03.592-04:00Comments on Sappho.Blog: Sometimes I just miss my mom...Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2345649318068185717.post-41636801193412063882010-04-04T15:03:44.996-04:002010-04-04T15:03:44.996-04:00I'm sorry too. Most of us were lucky enough (u...I'm sorry too. Most of us were lucky enough (up until now) to believe that our parents would support us no matter what. They still love us but it is a painful, different kind of love. Looking at people who are happily out, one can't help but feel that one could have it all too, and that one's hellish closeted state could start to come to an end end through a conversation with one's family. Sometimes, though, that conversation is saturated with more opposition, vituperative sentiment and hostility than one could ever anticipate as "typical" or "expected". It can be a conversation that tears you up and breaks your heart, and unless parents change their tone, it will be a conversation that will play over and over in your head for weeks and months afterwords. Your friends love and support you, your girlfriend loves you, and deep down, your parents still love you....but this is not enough to feel whole again. When I discovered I was gay, I was able to get over the sadness that comes with a future radically different than the one I imagined--that loss was not too "hard to master," as the poet says--but the loss (hopefully temporary) of family support was almost more than I could bear. <br /><br />At times like this, I'm reminded of a lyric in MGMT's "Time to Pretend": "I miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms/I miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world/I miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home/Yeah, I miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone." <br /><br />Here's to a simpler time--and the possibility of regaining the feeling of being wholly loved, the feeling we had when our parents tucked us in at night, assured us that the future held magical things for us, and chased the monsters away. I'm facing so many personal "monsters" right now, and I need those I love most back on my team.barnardnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2345649318068185717.post-74917121798311750662010-04-04T13:41:54.347-04:002010-04-04T13:41:54.347-04:00aw honey i'm sorry :( i miss my mom too.. her ...aw honey i'm sorry :( i miss my mom too.. her love was so unconditional and accepting my whole life, until it came to this stuff.Sparklehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12676324080186842985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2345649318068185717.post-12508899953993466842010-04-04T00:32:38.378-04:002010-04-04T00:32:38.378-04:00Time heals so much. I am SO sorry. No one should h...Time heals so much. I am SO sorry. No one should have to feel rejected, undesirable, or unwanted. Of course you miss her--she's your mother. Even if she says hurtful things, her approval is sometimes the MOST wanted. All I can say is give it time. There is a period of loss that parents have to go through in a sense. (Every day dream they had of what man you would marry, etc etc). They have this little grieving process they have to go through to let go of what THEY wanted, and realize that what they really want is only, only for you to be happy and at peace. It's just that in the beginning I feel like they think they know the answer to that. <br />I still have tough conversations with my mom. Today, she said "I don't know ...you've just been identifying so much with the lgbt community, you no longer identify ,like, with, you know, normal, regular people". Haha. <br /><br />Homophobia. It is tackled the best when someone close to the homophobic person comes out. By being out to your mom...you're making the world a better place. Even if it's slow...and painful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2345649318068185717.post-6195663238588747462010-04-03T17:18:32.483-04:002010-04-03T17:18:32.483-04:00I'm sure she misses you too...
and I love the ...I'm sure she misses you too...<br />and I love the picture you chose, it is incredibly cuteAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com