How to Flirt with Women

I knew I was bi long before I got to college, but I vehemently denied it until, say, three weeks into freshman year. I don’t know why the prospect of being queer scared me so much: my aunt has been in relationships with women for as long as I can remember, and my parents told me from a very early age that they didn’t care who I loved as long as they loved me back. I honestly have no idea what it was. But I’m not here to psychoanalyze myself. I’m here to talk about a less-expected consequence of my late-blooming bisexuality: my complete and utter ignorance of how to flirt with women.

I know how to flirt with men. I’ve been taught how, subconsciously and consciously, ever since I was a little kid and first read the titles on the cover of Cosmo. I know how to play hard to get, how to make eye contact, and how to drop those subtle hints. BUT OH MY HEAVENS do I clam up when there are sexy women around. Maybe it’s a result of denying my own attractions for so long, but attractive women make me so much more nervous than men! I get clumsy, I get giggly… I honestly think I just missed my pre-teen awkward phase with women, and now I’m entirely entrenched. I can’t stop playing with my hair, and I think I even batted my eyelashes once or twice. Pathetic.

I don’t know how to attract a woman’s attention. Admittedly, I present on the femme side of bi, and I suppose my interest in women is hard to pick up from a once-over. But I just want to know: how do I let women know that I like them too? I want to take advantage of being at Yale. I know so many wonderful queer women here, and the LGBT Co-Op parties are undeniably the most fun on campus. But I don’t know how to kick the quivering, nervous queer girl out of my chest and replace her with a woman who won’t trip over her own feet when a pretty girl looks her way.

Is that REALLY so much to ask?! Come on, ladies, notice me. I’m right here. You’ll recognize me as the awkward one giggling in the corner and staring at all the lovely faces in the crowd.

Interested in writing for Sappho?

Hello beautiful ladies of Yale!  We need you to post about your life, your thoughts, your rants, whatever you'd like.  The blog as been a huge hit in the past and Claire and I would like to get it going again.  This means, WE NEED WRITERS!! If you're interested in writing, please sappho.blog@gmail.com.  Posting commitments will either be weekly or bi-weekly (whichever you prefer) on a set day of the week that you sign up for.  Let's get the amazing queer-ness going again!

Q Magazine

Hello, all you wonderful queers! An all-star group of leaders on campus is starting a magazine called Q that will be the first queer lifestyle magazine on campus. The magazine will serve as a forum to explore the wide-range of queer experiences at Yale. Q will celebrate both the alterity and similarity of the queer experience at Yale through the documentation of queer student lifestyles, practices, and identities, at once establishing the legitimacy of the queer community on campus and, at the same time, forging new common ground between the LGBTQ community and the Yale community at large.

If you are interested in writing or getting involved with the magazine in any way, I encourage you to email me at kate.parker@yale.edu and/or come to our meeting this Wednesday, September 15 at 8:30pm in the Davenport Common room. All are welcome.

Come on young'uns

As much as its super fun for me and Freddie to dominate the blog, this is getting a little silly. It's camp Yale people! Didn't anyone get into trouble????

On Monday, I started my Americorp fellowship at Row NY, a nonprofit that runs a competitive girls program for NYC high school girls. My overwhelmingly descriptive official title is 'Program Assistant' but really, I'm an assistant coach for the novices and I'm working with the academic and college prep component of the program as well.

I'm sure you'll all hear this a million times but for its true and I've learned it the fun and easy way these past two days: Do what you love, preferably with other people who are doing what they love.

Am I a little worried about burn out because I'm so frickin excited about everything (my desk, the crappy lake we row on, the erg room, delicious free lunch, crosswords and trivia night at the bar in the next block, making the girls crossfit, sending some of them to yale,.....) ? Yeah. I'm a little worried about it. But I think I'll be okay because at worst I will be happy-burnt out.

Now that I've got a regular schedule I can also go back to focusing on doing things regularly with my time. like training. and applying to divinity school. And once I settle in I can finally pick amongst the several people I could possibly be pursuing romantically. And at the very least NYC has a sizable party scene. (Real L Word: Brooklyn, anyone?)

maybe I should track down photos from a play in which I played the bottom in a gay (male) couple opposite a female friend of mine (queerest play EvEr!!) then I would totally have Freddie beat. :p

Yeah yeah yeah, I posted twice in a row . . . so sue me

Just because I'm bored (none of my housemates have moved in yet so it's basically a Freddie-in-her-underwear-dance-party up in here) and looking through old old old facebook photos. I found one of me in high school that I wanted to share with you. I was Titania in my high school's production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, and there were pictures taken for the one day that the boy who played Bottom was out sick. Oh the irony now. Our assistant director Mandy filled in for him that day, and everyone commented that that was the day where Titania and Bottom had the best chemistry. Not to mention this picture shows Mandy REALLY being my "Bottom" . . . ba ha ha. I forget this stuff exists and when I rediscover it, I think "WHY THE HELL WAS I SUCH A CLOSET CASE FOR MY WHOLE LIFE UNTIL NOW?!"

Haha. Love to you all with this fun photo.

A Whole New Bloooooooggggg

Howdy Sappho!

I know that the serve lack of gay-lady blog over your summer has made you sad sad. It has made me sad too. And you know that promise I made to stick around as a creepy grad?! This is me keeping it! However, I'm going to keep it by pointing you to my new blog that I'm keeping for the next two years while I'm teaching chemistry and physics to British school children.

Granted, my blog isn't going to be as super-gay as this one. In fact, it may be minimally gay because this small town where I live seems to be minimally gay (SAD FACE), but sometimes I won't be able to help myself. The gay is bound to ooze out.

I'm obviously going to still check in on the Sappho blog from time to time. I'm not trying to kid myself . . . I miss Yale like crazy. In fact, today, going on facebook feels a little bit like cutting. Just self-inflicted yet voluntary pain. Statuses about how gorgeous the new Morse is or how excited everyone is for all the stuff I used to love . . . especially the YPMB . . . my heart just sinks.

But enough of my weepiness. I love all of you and hope that we meet again someday! Which of course we will.

And don't be too surprised that I write my other blog as "Freddie" too. I like the anonymity it give me to keep the blog secret from anyone I work with so I can write about them :)

So much DYKE LOVE!

http://blimeyhottea.blogspot.com/

<3 Freddie

Pride

Today, I went to my first Gay Pride ever. I'm in London on independent research, so there's no parents or bad timing to ruin my plans to attend Pride! Anyways, I'm assuming most of the readers have already been to a Pride. Rainbow flags and paraphernalia everywhere, ridiculous costumes, hundreds of amazing people packing the streets, and just so much spirit. London had a march that started up in Baker Street and ran all the way down to Trafalgar Square, where a huge concert was held all day. Various artists performed, and the Square had multiple bars and food stands--like an adult carnival!

Ok, so I'm horrible at providing a worthy description of London Pride. But I'm posting because I wanted to share one particular event happened today that really touched me. As I'm walking down Regent's Street, half watching the march and half observing passersby, I notice that there's a small group (fewer than 20 individuals) of protesters picketing Pride (religious reasons). I then see this straight couple walking in on the scene. They first see the protesters, and then look out to the massive crowds waving rainbow flags and just having fun...and the couple smiles. And their faces are perfect pictures of wistfulness and awe. And I could be projecting my feelings onto them, but the point is, at that moment, I suddenly realized what it means to have Gay Pride. In bringing all these homosexuals, bisexuals, and trans people together, Pride shows the world our prevalence, prominence, and strength. For me, Pride moved me deeply to see all these individuals come out and stand for their rights and to rejoice in their identities. At that moment, I actually almost cried from happiness, and I never cry unless it's something intensely personal--like a death or something.

I remember reading somewhere once that going to a gay pride event will do infinitely more in helping someone accept themselves than spending years on a psychologist's couch. I now realize just how empowering Pride can be, and how true this argument is.