Coming (out) at Yale

Yale has blown my mind. I never imagined there could be not only such a gay place, but such a gay-friendly place. I've had my fair share of less-than-fortunate experiences with homophobia, and I must say, coming to Yale was so much more than merely a refreshing change of pace, it was exactly what I needed.

I continue to find myself in complete and utter awe by what a non-issue my sexuality is with my roommate and with my suite mates and with my friends, by the way (a good portion of) people are genuinely concerned about the marginalizing effects of heteronormativity (and why that matters), and by the way it is just okay to be myself. I've never felt as safe and comfortable as I do here at Yale, and the sad part is, I know once I leave, it will most likely never be this way again. I've had the wonderful privilege to be able to truly find myself here, and as I settle in on my identity, I couldn't be happier with who I am.

So thank you Yale, and all you Yalies, for allowing me to find, and to be, who I am.

How to Flirt with Women

I knew I was bi long before I got to college, but I vehemently denied it until, say, three weeks into freshman year. I don’t know why the prospect of being queer scared me so much: my aunt has been in relationships with women for as long as I can remember, and my parents told me from a very early age that they didn’t care who I loved as long as they loved me back. I honestly have no idea what it was. But I’m not here to psychoanalyze myself. I’m here to talk about a less-expected consequence of my late-blooming bisexuality: my complete and utter ignorance of how to flirt with women.

I know how to flirt with men. I’ve been taught how, subconsciously and consciously, ever since I was a little kid and first read the titles on the cover of Cosmo. I know how to play hard to get, how to make eye contact, and how to drop those subtle hints. BUT OH MY HEAVENS do I clam up when there are sexy women around. Maybe it’s a result of denying my own attractions for so long, but attractive women make me so much more nervous than men! I get clumsy, I get giggly… I honestly think I just missed my pre-teen awkward phase with women, and now I’m entirely entrenched. I can’t stop playing with my hair, and I think I even batted my eyelashes once or twice. Pathetic.

I don’t know how to attract a woman’s attention. Admittedly, I present on the femme side of bi, and I suppose my interest in women is hard to pick up from a once-over. But I just want to know: how do I let women know that I like them too? I want to take advantage of being at Yale. I know so many wonderful queer women here, and the LGBT Co-Op parties are undeniably the most fun on campus. But I don’t know how to kick the quivering, nervous queer girl out of my chest and replace her with a woman who won’t trip over her own feet when a pretty girl looks her way.

Is that REALLY so much to ask?! Come on, ladies, notice me. I’m right here. You’ll recognize me as the awkward one giggling in the corner and staring at all the lovely faces in the crowd.

Interested in writing for Sappho?

Hello beautiful ladies of Yale!  We need you to post about your life, your thoughts, your rants, whatever you'd like.  The blog as been a huge hit in the past and Claire and I would like to get it going again.  This means, WE NEED WRITERS!! If you're interested in writing, please sappho.blog@gmail.com.  Posting commitments will either be weekly or bi-weekly (whichever you prefer) on a set day of the week that you sign up for.  Let's get the amazing queer-ness going again!

Q Magazine

Hello, all you wonderful queers! An all-star group of leaders on campus is starting a magazine called Q that will be the first queer lifestyle magazine on campus. The magazine will serve as a forum to explore the wide-range of queer experiences at Yale. Q will celebrate both the alterity and similarity of the queer experience at Yale through the documentation of queer student lifestyles, practices, and identities, at once establishing the legitimacy of the queer community on campus and, at the same time, forging new common ground between the LGBTQ community and the Yale community at large.

If you are interested in writing or getting involved with the magazine in any way, I encourage you to email me at kate.parker@yale.edu and/or come to our meeting this Wednesday, September 15 at 8:30pm in the Davenport Common room. All are welcome.

Come on young'uns

As much as its super fun for me and Freddie to dominate the blog, this is getting a little silly. It's camp Yale people! Didn't anyone get into trouble????

On Monday, I started my Americorp fellowship at Row NY, a nonprofit that runs a competitive girls program for NYC high school girls. My overwhelmingly descriptive official title is 'Program Assistant' but really, I'm an assistant coach for the novices and I'm working with the academic and college prep component of the program as well.

I'm sure you'll all hear this a million times but for its true and I've learned it the fun and easy way these past two days: Do what you love, preferably with other people who are doing what they love.

Am I a little worried about burn out because I'm so frickin excited about everything (my desk, the crappy lake we row on, the erg room, delicious free lunch, crosswords and trivia night at the bar in the next block, making the girls crossfit, sending some of them to yale,.....) ? Yeah. I'm a little worried about it. But I think I'll be okay because at worst I will be happy-burnt out.

Now that I've got a regular schedule I can also go back to focusing on doing things regularly with my time. like training. and applying to divinity school. And once I settle in I can finally pick amongst the several people I could possibly be pursuing romantically. And at the very least NYC has a sizable party scene. (Real L Word: Brooklyn, anyone?)

maybe I should track down photos from a play in which I played the bottom in a gay (male) couple opposite a female friend of mine (queerest play EvEr!!) then I would totally have Freddie beat. :p

Yeah yeah yeah, I posted twice in a row . . . so sue me

Just because I'm bored (none of my housemates have moved in yet so it's basically a Freddie-in-her-underwear-dance-party up in here) and looking through old old old facebook photos. I found one of me in high school that I wanted to share with you. I was Titania in my high school's production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, and there were pictures taken for the one day that the boy who played Bottom was out sick. Oh the irony now. Our assistant director Mandy filled in for him that day, and everyone commented that that was the day where Titania and Bottom had the best chemistry. Not to mention this picture shows Mandy REALLY being my "Bottom" . . . ba ha ha. I forget this stuff exists and when I rediscover it, I think "WHY THE HELL WAS I SUCH A CLOSET CASE FOR MY WHOLE LIFE UNTIL NOW?!"

Haha. Love to you all with this fun photo.

A Whole New Bloooooooggggg

Howdy Sappho!

I know that the serve lack of gay-lady blog over your summer has made you sad sad. It has made me sad too. And you know that promise I made to stick around as a creepy grad?! This is me keeping it! However, I'm going to keep it by pointing you to my new blog that I'm keeping for the next two years while I'm teaching chemistry and physics to British school children.

Granted, my blog isn't going to be as super-gay as this one. In fact, it may be minimally gay because this small town where I live seems to be minimally gay (SAD FACE), but sometimes I won't be able to help myself. The gay is bound to ooze out.

I'm obviously going to still check in on the Sappho blog from time to time. I'm not trying to kid myself . . . I miss Yale like crazy. In fact, today, going on facebook feels a little bit like cutting. Just self-inflicted yet voluntary pain. Statuses about how gorgeous the new Morse is or how excited everyone is for all the stuff I used to love . . . especially the YPMB . . . my heart just sinks.

But enough of my weepiness. I love all of you and hope that we meet again someday! Which of course we will.

And don't be too surprised that I write my other blog as "Freddie" too. I like the anonymity it give me to keep the blog secret from anyone I work with so I can write about them :)

So much DYKE LOVE!

http://blimeyhottea.blogspot.com/

<3 Freddie