Let's live vicariously :)
Happy V Day!
Monday, February 14, 2011
A case for love
I love Valentine's Day. I'm probably one of five single people in the world who feels this way, but it's true nonetheless.
For me, Valentine's Day has never been about romantics. Every year, I'm taken back to elementary school days when we all had little paper bags and everyone had themed valentines to hand out to their friends. It was a time to celebrate innocence, a day in which we all told our friends, parents and siblings that we loved them. We weren't concerned with being single or not having a date; love was love.
I still hand out those little themed cards (this year: Batman and other DC comic heroes). Yes, I'm technically a grown up now and by worldly standards should have probably given that up, but, quite frankly, I don't see why. Whether we have significant others or not, we can still celebrate the love we have for the people in our lives- be it our roommates, parents, or that random kid in bio lab on whom you've been crushing. February 14th is one day out of the year that we can all take time to say, "I love you" and not have people look at us weirdly (ok, maybe if you do a very public confession to bio lab kid. Maybe rethink that one).
If we're single and happy, playing the field, in the midst of a budding romance, or married 59 years, love should and does surround us. Love is, and will forever remain, love.
So celebrate it.
Visibility on VDay
Well hey errbody. So we all know what today is, and, love it or hate it, Valentine's Day is hard to ignore. But even more than the romance/angst/lust/despair that VDay brings to our hetero brethren/sistren, we queer folks have to deal with some extra issues.
So how do you lovely queermos deal with VDay? Whether single, attached, or "It's Complicated" on Facebook, February 14th opens up a different can of worms for all of us. Share your survival strategies in the comments!
- If you're closeted, all the focus on romance around this time can lead to some awkward questions/comments ("So when are you getting a boyfriend?" etc etc).
- If you're out, the ridiculous amount of heterosexuality all over the place can be suffocating.
- If you're out and are with someone of the same sex, then being super lovey-dovey with that lucky individual carries more risks than it might for straight couples.
- If you're bi and with someone of the opposite sex, being super lovey-dovey with that lucky individual can feel like buying into straight privelege.
- If you're involved in a poly relationship...well that deserves a whole post of its own.
So how do you lovely queermos deal with VDay? Whether single, attached, or "It's Complicated" on Facebook, February 14th opens up a different can of worms for all of us. Share your survival strategies in the comments!
Valentine's Day Blues
Generally, I have a policy to indiscriminately hate Valentine's Day.
I don't like bad chocolates, I don't like fuzzy teddy bears with high-pitched voices warbling cutesy messages every time you press their paws, and I absolutely detest those chalky little candy hearts. I mean, come on. Valentine's Day is just a day for cheesy slogans and bad puns. "BEE MINE" with a little bumblebee? Aren't we past that yet?
Valentine's Day fills me with ire and resentment about being single, year after year, and watching my friends get gooey about each other and exchange flowers and candy with increasing enthusiasm. No matter how many Anti-Valentine's parties I attend, I always end up feeling depressingly lonely.
This year, all that negativity got me thinking.
Valentine's Day, from the outside, can be seen as a consumerist excuse to sell chocolate and cheap trinkets to couples who can't keep their eyes, hands, or apparently wallets off of each other. Even from the inside of love, perhaps Hallmark cards are cheesy excuses for emotion, and those candy hearts still taste like ground-up sidewalk chalk.
But everything in our culture is consumerist. Even originally "religious" holidays like Christmas, the mother of all consumer holidays, are represented in the media as excuses to buy happiness at strip malls and in online catalogs. Does this take all meaning away from Christmas for those who celebrate it? Clearly not.
I realized this: Valentine's Day is a pretty great idea at its heart. It's a time of year when people who are in relationships, queer or straight, can remind themselves - whether through a handmade valentine or through a box of store-bought candy - of why they're a couple in the first place. It's a time of year when those of us who are single aren't in the foreground, and when staying in and watching a movie with your significant other isn't considered antisocial.
What's wrong with Valentine's Day? Sure, it makes me feel like crap once a year. But it makes my couple friends feel great. Maybe, just sometimes, love should be the main event, even if it is a little consumerist.
I don't like bad chocolates, I don't like fuzzy teddy bears with high-pitched voices warbling cutesy messages every time you press their paws, and I absolutely detest those chalky little candy hearts. I mean, come on. Valentine's Day is just a day for cheesy slogans and bad puns. "BEE MINE" with a little bumblebee? Aren't we past that yet?
Valentine's Day fills me with ire and resentment about being single, year after year, and watching my friends get gooey about each other and exchange flowers and candy with increasing enthusiasm. No matter how many Anti-Valentine's parties I attend, I always end up feeling depressingly lonely.
This year, all that negativity got me thinking.
Valentine's Day, from the outside, can be seen as a consumerist excuse to sell chocolate and cheap trinkets to couples who can't keep their eyes, hands, or apparently wallets off of each other. Even from the inside of love, perhaps Hallmark cards are cheesy excuses for emotion, and those candy hearts still taste like ground-up sidewalk chalk.
But everything in our culture is consumerist. Even originally "religious" holidays like Christmas, the mother of all consumer holidays, are represented in the media as excuses to buy happiness at strip malls and in online catalogs. Does this take all meaning away from Christmas for those who celebrate it? Clearly not.
I realized this: Valentine's Day is a pretty great idea at its heart. It's a time of year when people who are in relationships, queer or straight, can remind themselves - whether through a handmade valentine or through a box of store-bought candy - of why they're a couple in the first place. It's a time of year when those of us who are single aren't in the foreground, and when staying in and watching a movie with your significant other isn't considered antisocial.
What's wrong with Valentine's Day? Sure, it makes me feel like crap once a year. But it makes my couple friends feel great. Maybe, just sometimes, love should be the main event, even if it is a little consumerist.
Vibrators Don't Buy You Roses for Valentine's Day
But hot damn, they are good.
And what better day to focus on the little purple sparkly things than Valentine’s? Vibrators are wonderful, cool friends who I am sure many of you lady queers have met before (although there are probs some babygay novices out there, too, Google=mass of info babygays).
Anyway, ladies, this is my question: Whether tied down, polyamorous, ridin’ solo (and gahh, this day tries to divide us into those categories – FIGHT IT QUEERS, WE HATE LABELS) …
How do you “love yourself”?
What’s your favorite music to blast in the background, covering that bzzz noise? Do you bring out your friend multiple times a day, once a month? Where’s the craziest place you’ve ever masturbated?
Have a Happy Valentine’s Day, all! And if your answers to my previous questions are lame, what day is better to change them? ;) I hope that you go out and find love queers, whether with that beautiful significant other or your similarly beautiful self!
Happy Valentine's Day from Sappho!
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you're having a great day filled with love of all kinds!
Personally, I just love to watch all the cute things that happen around campus. For example, I found it absolutely adorable when I saw a good friend standing outside my class this morning with a rose behind his back, looking extremely nervous, just waiting for a particularly charming boy of interest to come out... no pun intended. It was really the cutest thing I've seen in a while!
Want to tell your VDay stories? Want to rant about how commercialized and consumerist today is? Want to send a shout-out to someone? Write on the Sappho Blog for this special day only (or sign up for a regular commitment to write)! Email sappho.blog@gmail.com to get set up as an author! Posts can be completely anonymous... or not.
Personally, I just love to watch all the cute things that happen around campus. For example, I found it absolutely adorable when I saw a good friend standing outside my class this morning with a rose behind his back, looking extremely nervous, just waiting for a particularly charming boy of interest to come out... no pun intended. It was really the cutest thing I've seen in a while!
Want to tell your VDay stories? Want to rant about how commercialized and consumerist today is? Want to send a shout-out to someone? Write on the Sappho Blog for this special day only (or sign up for a regular commitment to write)! Email sappho.blog@gmail.com to get set up as an author! Posts can be completely anonymous... or not.
For a special Valentine's Day e-card, to you from Sappho, go here: http://www.rattlebox.com/pickup/1538828/rb0af28b5259b.html
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Wish GoodCrush was what it used to be? Wish it were more queer?
If so, you're in luck! Sappho has just created "Sappho BetterCrush" like goodcrush... only better.
Check it out and start anonymously posting your creeper-ness for everyone to see!
http://www.a-free-guestbook.com/gb/sapphobettercrush/
Check it out and start anonymously posting your creeper-ness for everyone to see!
http://www.a-free-guestbook.com/gb/sapphobettercrush/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)