As more and more straight servicemen and women are outed, an increasing number of fringe straight activists are arguing that straight men and women should be allowed to serve their country openly. While (of course) I believe in everyone's right to live the lifestyle of their choosing ,and not be denied political rights (excluding, of course, to sacred benefits like marriage and adoption), there are important practical reasons that openly straight people cannot be allowed to serve in the military.
The mechanics of deployment specifically make openly straight people detrimental to morale and unit cohesion, and there is no real reason that they cannot continue to serve secretly. To begin with, high morale is one of the key components in a military operation and one of the most difficult to achieve in wars of insurgent violence, where soldiers may feel like they are in constant danger. Openly heterosexual soldiers are damage this precious morale, because most normal service men and women are especially uncomfortable sharing common areas, living quarters, and even showers with them. Owing to a historical tradition in the military, most soldiers are unused to living intimately with heterosexuals and often feel a moral objection to those that chose this life style. Causing discomfort and tension in the few safe areas our soldiers have is last thing we need to improve slipping morale.
Heterosexuals sexual practices also damage unit cohesion because when inevitable sexual and romantic relationships develop among them, they often lack experience remaining in close contact with past partners. Most normal soldiers are accustomed to communities in which they are frequently forced to remain friends with (or at least civil with) exes because of they often share core friendship groups, play on the same sports teams, sing/act in the same productions, or participate in the same activities. Most soldiers are accustomed to having friends date or hook up with exes and are much more comfortable continuing to be in close contact with, work with, and even live with ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends. Straight soldiers lack this experience, because straight culture allows much more commonly for couples to become distant after a break up, returning to distinct friendship groups that rarely overlap because they are gender segregated. Thus straight people in the military would inevitably cause a breakdown in unit cohesion, and current and former partners lack the framework for continuing to be in close contact. Fighting and inability to work together is damaging to the functionality of the unit and ultimately its performance on the street.
In light of these key issues, there is no real need for straight soldiers to be permitted to serve openly. Currently, heterosexuals are still allowed to serve if they keep their orientation secret. This prohibition removes the discomfort regular soldiers might feel knowing a heterosexual was in their midst and reduces the problems that come from heterosexual in-service dating. Realistically, keeping quiet about their sexuality is a small price to ask in return for being able to serve our country along with their more mainstream peers and asks merely that heterosexual soldiers lie to their comrades about their past, attractions, current relationship situation, and an important part of their identity. Overall, the benefits of restricting openly heterosexual service members outweigh the small cost, and is clearly better for our military and our country as a whole. For the good of our men and women in uniform, straight servicepeople must simply be forced to keep quiet about their sexuality.
(nb. If this were not obvious, this is a satire. I do not actually think that heterosexuals should be barred from the military, I'm simply critiquing DADT)
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Learning Vulnerability
Today, I spent what seemed like an eternity doing the final viewings for digital video. (It was four hours) I was the last undergrad to go. I realized about half way trough the class that I'd neglected to come up with a title, and settled rather quickly while watching clips of 'the student body' on 'RJM'.
My video was me, and the sides of me that only make appearances on special occasions, like drag ball, or spider ball. Oh the balls! wait...that doesn't sound right. No matter.
I've got no problem dressing up. I love when I get to be Roman and I love when I get to be Jules (which is what I have named by femme alter-ego). Really though, I just like being Me, track suit wearing softee that I am.
But this video was really hard for me to shoot and edit. I knew going in it wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but still. I couldn't figure out how to shoot party or night scenes as Roman or Jules without looking like a complete weirdo, and the lighting was hard.
But really the struggle came when I had to sit down and edit it. Sure, I had made cameos in my other videos but here I was literally staring myself in the face. More specifically, I was staring at myself three times over.
This was my well intentioned but perhaps poorly implemented attempt to tell a part of my own story, my own journey you might say.
When it came time to show our rough cuts (it did not help matters that I was down to the wire for time), I was so nervous I didn't want to watch it with my professor and TA. Maybe I was worried about the fuzzy line between critiquing my video and critiquing me. Mostly, it felt weird to let people so intimately into my head. Here are the things that I think and feel everyone, enjoy. It turns out, it went quite nicely. My TA made a joke that I missed because I was too busy vibrating anxiously. My professor pointed out some of the really well put together moments (ie, the ones I spent the most time on because i too was really excited about them). In short, I survived it, and came back to make some edits. This round of editing was easier. Thank God.
When we showed the final, my professor and TA were the only people who spoke, which I am unsure what to make of. I mean....comment on something really surface, like the sound levels or something. Anything than sit there staring at the screen, because I don't know how to read that.
Anyhow, during my professors comments, she said something along the lines of the 'party' section seems like it was intentionally created in place of something else (yeah...I couldn't figure out how to successfully shoot a party scene) which keeps people at a distance (which I like) but choosing to put real photographs there instead (hooray for facebooking for class) gave it a sense of vulnerability (i added a picture from senior prom for good measure). and i kind of just kept nodding because i was like "yes, ive shown it. i feel it. lets move on".
I was a huge cry-baby as kid. Cryin Ryan. Of all the things you can rhyme with my name, that's what stuck. I reacted very strongly to everything generally. Then, over the course of my development, I learned, got trained, what have you, to fight that impulse. And as I got really good at it, I swung too far to the opposite direction. I was really emotionally detached from things, or I still had those responses but I exerted a lot of energy to contain them, which, as you might expect, was no fun. One result of this has been to keep people at arms length. (This is a successful physical metaphor, because holding someone away from you on straight arms is way easier than doing it with bent arms- at which point they would be closer than arms length, but I digress). It turns out, your friends don't like it when you do that. So, as any good pendulum will, I've tried to swing back to some kind of balance. A place where I can be vulnerable without being frail.
So I realized, my final video, kind of like this blog, was a window that I opened onto myself. Now, people are welcome to see if they feel like it. Maybe even poke around some. I'm not opening any doors yet, and I imagine that's what you save for your nearest and dearest, but it's progress.
My video was me, and the sides of me that only make appearances on special occasions, like drag ball, or spider ball. Oh the balls! wait...that doesn't sound right. No matter.
I've got no problem dressing up. I love when I get to be Roman and I love when I get to be Jules (which is what I have named by femme alter-ego). Really though, I just like being Me, track suit wearing softee that I am.
But this video was really hard for me to shoot and edit. I knew going in it wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but still. I couldn't figure out how to shoot party or night scenes as Roman or Jules without looking like a complete weirdo, and the lighting was hard.
But really the struggle came when I had to sit down and edit it. Sure, I had made cameos in my other videos but here I was literally staring myself in the face. More specifically, I was staring at myself three times over.
This was my well intentioned but perhaps poorly implemented attempt to tell a part of my own story, my own journey you might say.
When it came time to show our rough cuts (it did not help matters that I was down to the wire for time), I was so nervous I didn't want to watch it with my professor and TA. Maybe I was worried about the fuzzy line between critiquing my video and critiquing me. Mostly, it felt weird to let people so intimately into my head. Here are the things that I think and feel everyone, enjoy. It turns out, it went quite nicely. My TA made a joke that I missed because I was too busy vibrating anxiously. My professor pointed out some of the really well put together moments (ie, the ones I spent the most time on because i too was really excited about them). In short, I survived it, and came back to make some edits. This round of editing was easier. Thank God.
When we showed the final, my professor and TA were the only people who spoke, which I am unsure what to make of. I mean....comment on something really surface, like the sound levels or something. Anything than sit there staring at the screen, because I don't know how to read that.
Anyhow, during my professors comments, she said something along the lines of the 'party' section seems like it was intentionally created in place of something else (yeah...I couldn't figure out how to successfully shoot a party scene) which keeps people at a distance (which I like) but choosing to put real photographs there instead (hooray for facebooking for class) gave it a sense of vulnerability (i added a picture from senior prom for good measure). and i kind of just kept nodding because i was like "yes, ive shown it. i feel it. lets move on".
I was a huge cry-baby as kid. Cryin Ryan. Of all the things you can rhyme with my name, that's what stuck. I reacted very strongly to everything generally. Then, over the course of my development, I learned, got trained, what have you, to fight that impulse. And as I got really good at it, I swung too far to the opposite direction. I was really emotionally detached from things, or I still had those responses but I exerted a lot of energy to contain them, which, as you might expect, was no fun. One result of this has been to keep people at arms length. (This is a successful physical metaphor, because holding someone away from you on straight arms is way easier than doing it with bent arms- at which point they would be closer than arms length, but I digress). It turns out, your friends don't like it when you do that. So, as any good pendulum will, I've tried to swing back to some kind of balance. A place where I can be vulnerable without being frail.
So I realized, my final video, kind of like this blog, was a window that I opened onto myself. Now, people are welcome to see if they feel like it. Maybe even poke around some. I'm not opening any doors yet, and I imagine that's what you save for your nearest and dearest, but it's progress.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Last week of classes!
Oh man. Was it rough for me. I had a test and a draft for a paper due on the same day. Which doesn't sound so bad, but perhaps it would have been more manageable if I didn't get both pinkeye and a sinus infection. Gross, right? I know, I'm living with it. So basically my entire head is infected. I don't even wanna touch myself (erotically or otherwise).
So this week also sums up the closing of my freshman year, which was the first year of me being very, very out.
It was partially by accident. I mean, I'm not the type of person that likes being particularly explicit (even though I think Yale has helped me look incredibly dyke-y recently). If asked I will tell, but who I like to fuck does not often come up in conversation often. Especially in high school. And whenever it did, it was sort of awkward because I was sort of awkward, but not it a "haha" way but in a "I hate this place but I haven't realized it yet" awkward.
But here, I promised myself that I wouldn't lie to anyone. Also, I got drunk a few times. Whatever. So whereas in high school if someone would say to me "Yo that guy over there is ~s0 hAwT~" I would probably make a face like :| and not say anything.
In college, a liquor loosening my tongue, I'd politely say to the person that no, I don't think that guy over there is attractive, nor most other ones. And this was why I considered myself a LESBIAN!
And the other person wouldn't care, like I expected, and then we'd continue on with life. So now I just have to do this for people at home (where everyone would just say that they knew anyway)!
I'm sure I have a lot more 'growing' as a queer woman to do, and I'm ready for it. Coming out is only one part of the journey. Now i just need to survive the rest of my life, or at least finals.
Happy reading week, everyone!
So this week also sums up the closing of my freshman year, which was the first year of me being very, very out.
It was partially by accident. I mean, I'm not the type of person that likes being particularly explicit (even though I think Yale has helped me look incredibly dyke-y recently). If asked I will tell, but who I like to fuck does not often come up in conversation often. Especially in high school. And whenever it did, it was sort of awkward because I was sort of awkward, but not it a "haha" way but in a "I hate this place but I haven't realized it yet" awkward.
But here, I promised myself that I wouldn't lie to anyone. Also, I got drunk a few times. Whatever. So whereas in high school if someone would say to me "Yo that guy over there is ~s0 hAwT~" I would probably make a face like :| and not say anything.
In college, a liquor loosening my tongue, I'd politely say to the person that no, I don't think that guy over there is attractive, nor most other ones. And this was why I considered myself a LESBIAN!
And the other person wouldn't care, like I expected, and then we'd continue on with life. So now I just have to do this for people at home (where everyone would just say that they knew anyway)!
I'm sure I have a lot more 'growing' as a queer woman to do, and I'm ready for it. Coming out is only one part of the journey. Now i just need to survive the rest of my life, or at least finals.
Happy reading week, everyone!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
anyone up for a little field trip?
also, would any of you ladies be up for a trip to VIP in Orange, Ct? It's about ten minutes away. Biggest sexstore in the northeast!
They have everything from sex themed party favors...to vibrators...to handcuffs....
It might be fun to invade the place.
lets have a sappho field trip, shall we?
They have everything from sex themed party favors...to vibrators...to handcuffs....
It might be fun to invade the place.
lets have a sappho field trip, shall we?
I might be more of a Top than I thought? I'm ascared.
Beautiful ladies!
I have been so MIA--so sorry for that.
Glad to hear Chip is doing well, TheCuteOne! :)
I won't give too many details about my sex life...but I will say that I have very much enjoyed sex in a way that I didn't know I could. I LOVE TOPPING. No...like...really. And this scarres me a little. I've always identified as more of a bottom...powerbottom to make myself feel a little more in control...but I really love topping my girlfriend. I think a mixed relationship is healthy and I'm coming to accept my inner-dominant side that I haven't really shown to many people. But it's a little scary for me! I feel like I shouldn't be so...dominant. I don't know...but I LOVE it. Eeeee.
Okay maybe that was too much detail. CuteOne, you started it! :)
Anyways...
My exboyfriend texted me today and told me he's going to come out to his parents. I'm so nervous for him. His parents are very homophobic. They will probably blame it on my influence on their son, haha. Just how my parents blamed my "struggles" on his influence on me.
Oh, parents. Oh, that unfortunate and misdirected generation.
When you read this/if you make it to this line--please say a little prayer/hope for the best for my exbf and his parents. It's going to be rough if he goes through with it.
YAY END OF TERM. BOO EXAMS! YAY CHIP (and all additions to the bedroom that will inevitably destress us!)
I have been so MIA--so sorry for that.
Glad to hear Chip is doing well, TheCuteOne! :)
I won't give too many details about my sex life...but I will say that I have very much enjoyed sex in a way that I didn't know I could. I LOVE TOPPING. No...like...really. And this scarres me a little. I've always identified as more of a bottom...powerbottom to make myself feel a little more in control...but I really love topping my girlfriend. I think a mixed relationship is healthy and I'm coming to accept my inner-dominant side that I haven't really shown to many people. But it's a little scary for me! I feel like I shouldn't be so...dominant. I don't know...but I LOVE it. Eeeee.
Okay maybe that was too much detail. CuteOne, you started it! :)
Anyways...
My exboyfriend texted me today and told me he's going to come out to his parents. I'm so nervous for him. His parents are very homophobic. They will probably blame it on my influence on their son, haha. Just how my parents blamed my "struggles" on his influence on me.
Oh, parents. Oh, that unfortunate and misdirected generation.
When you read this/if you make it to this line--please say a little prayer/hope for the best for my exbf and his parents. It's going to be rough if he goes through with it.
YAY END OF TERM. BOO EXAMS! YAY CHIP (and all additions to the bedroom that will inevitably destress us!)
On straight people
I realized the other day that I have a small bias against straight people. It's not that I don't like them, I just have less in common with them and I don't often make the effort to get to know them, unless we're on the same team or living together. This is particularly true for straight boys, who I hardly ever interact with any more. This is something I've been missing in my life of late, but something I'm pretty sure I can change next year. Meeting a bunch of boys who I know I'll be friends with next year made me realize that boys are just people who happen to look different from the regular people I interact with. Actually sometimes they don't even look that different, they just identify as boys.
Anyway, it was fun for me to realize that even though I'm not really friends with that many boys now, aside from gay boys and my two straight male friends from highschool, that I still like boys, and we can still hang out and have fun.
That's pretty much all I've got for today friends. Sadly I'm pretty run down and my gay flame isn't burning as brightly today as it might otherwise. Maybe next time I'll have something rivetingly gay to tell you all about, like Chip.
Anyway, it was fun for me to realize that even though I'm not really friends with that many boys now, aside from gay boys and my two straight male friends from highschool, that I still like boys, and we can still hang out and have fun.
That's pretty much all I've got for today friends. Sadly I'm pretty run down and my gay flame isn't burning as brightly today as it might otherwise. Maybe next time I'll have something rivetingly gay to tell you all about, like Chip.
Getting it in- I apologize in advance for the lunacy that's coming
Damn. This is one of two days of the week I don't actually have to wake up for anything and still I was awake at 6. Le sigh.
I'm taking a break from outlining moth genitalia to post before I forget and get caught up in my practice-dinner-grey's frivolity. (The moths are for a friend's senior project. I'm not that strange.)
Alas! I fear I have no real substantive thoughts at the moment, just lots of scattered ones. like....remember that post from a while back about things making way more sense in hindsight? yes, well, in hindsight, my first ever crush was on the original Pink Ranger from Power Rangers. didn't know it at the time, but it seems so obvious now. I also have a huge celeb crush on Kelly Clarkson, but that's a different story.
I was reading the Lost Symbol by Dan Brown the other day and almost stopped and angrily left the store twice because 1) he equated the purpose behind tattoos and drug use to transitioning. (maybe equated is a little strong, but it went something like this: tattooing is all about taking control of your carnal form- which is why so many people are getting tattoos or doing drugs or transgendering) WTF? I mean...maybe, on the level that I get tattoos to express things on the outside that I feel on the inside and transpeople change their bodies to match who they are on the inside...you have to read it. It's like, five pages in. I was upset. and tired at the time, so that didn't help.
Then his characters knocked Yale a handful of times (He went to Harvard), which also made me mad. The fact that this guy gives a talk about writing to the freshman at Exeter (where we both went to high school) is laughable. But I've always been a sucker for a little bit of plane-fiction now and then.
Blueberries are delicious. I've been eating them constantly since I gave my Mellon forum and ended up with my weight in left over indian food. So i've been using my lunch swipes for blueberries and pistachios. The ladies at durfee's think I'm crazy.
Are anyone else's allergies kicking into high gear? because I haven't sneezed as much in my whole life as I have today.
This is the song of my past two weeks. It's in my final project for Intro to Digital Video, which I will talk about next week after I hand it in. Figure its better that way. Also a huge sucker for Timbaland.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDKva-s_khY
I'm taking a break from outlining moth genitalia to post before I forget and get caught up in my practice-dinner-grey's frivolity. (The moths are for a friend's senior project. I'm not that strange.)
Alas! I fear I have no real substantive thoughts at the moment, just lots of scattered ones. like....remember that post from a while back about things making way more sense in hindsight? yes, well, in hindsight, my first ever crush was on the original Pink Ranger from Power Rangers. didn't know it at the time, but it seems so obvious now. I also have a huge celeb crush on Kelly Clarkson, but that's a different story.
I was reading the Lost Symbol by Dan Brown the other day and almost stopped and angrily left the store twice because 1) he equated the purpose behind tattoos and drug use to transitioning. (maybe equated is a little strong, but it went something like this: tattooing is all about taking control of your carnal form- which is why so many people are getting tattoos or doing drugs or transgendering) WTF? I mean...maybe, on the level that I get tattoos to express things on the outside that I feel on the inside and transpeople change their bodies to match who they are on the inside...you have to read it. It's like, five pages in. I was upset. and tired at the time, so that didn't help.
Then his characters knocked Yale a handful of times (He went to Harvard), which also made me mad. The fact that this guy gives a talk about writing to the freshman at Exeter (where we both went to high school) is laughable. But I've always been a sucker for a little bit of plane-fiction now and then.
Blueberries are delicious. I've been eating them constantly since I gave my Mellon forum and ended up with my weight in left over indian food. So i've been using my lunch swipes for blueberries and pistachios. The ladies at durfee's think I'm crazy.
Are anyone else's allergies kicking into high gear? because I haven't sneezed as much in my whole life as I have today.
This is the song of my past two weeks. It's in my final project for Intro to Digital Video, which I will talk about next week after I hand it in. Figure its better that way. Also a huge sucker for Timbaland.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDKva-s_khY
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