No, I don't want to make you a goddamn sandwich.

Today I want to bring up a subject that, although not directly related to lesbianism, still affects all of us.

That topic is unfunny misogynist jokes.

Listen, I like offending people just as much as the next jerk out there. But there is a way to do it skillfully, subtly raising awareness and then satirizing our views on whatever is at hand. These jokes, however, are just really really really stupid. Even worse, they are repeated ad nauseum , and are unfortunately considered acceptable responses to anything.

For example, there is a facebook group called, "I was shocked when I realized that 'woman' spelled backwards is 'kitchen'." Completely avoiding the fact that this isn't true, there's also the fact that, um, that doesn't have anything to do with anything. I mean "taco cat" spelled backwards is "taco cat", but that's different. "small penis" spelled backwards is "sinep llams", which also isn't particularly relevant, but it can be fun to shout at people.

Want me to stay in the kitchen, followers of the male patriarchal system? Well, there are a lot of things I can do in a kitchen. I can sit around in a kitchen. I can start a Satanic cult in a kitchen. I can eat all the food in the kitchen and then have you come home, starve, and then make love with my fat, bloated ass. Jerk.

There's also the beloved, "Make me a sandwich!" First of all, I'm usually too lazy to make myself a sandwich. Second, if you ever ask me this in the playful mannerism of a fourteen year old boy or a 4chan user (I might have been redundant there), I will not be able to make a come back with my feeble, womanly mind. I will probably just knee you in the balls instead.

So please, even if you hate women (and you're missing out on [a] great sex, people), stop telling these jokes at least in the name of good comedy. It needs to live on past senseless one-liners. And maybe if you're nice for once, I might possibly consider getting two slices of bread for you to make your own sandwich.