While I haven't thought of myself as a blogger in a long long time, I just this moment realized that this is actually not my first blog post. Writing this blog takes me back to 9th grade when I had a xanga/livejournal thing with a bunch of my friends. And looking back is what I want to talk about today. At first I was at a loss for what to write on this blog. I just haven't been feeling very queer lately. I'm sure pretty much anyone that knows me will tell you that I'm real gay, but I've been feeling a little bit over it recently. I don't want to rally; I don't want to organize; I don't even really want to talk about being gay with people, which is usually one of my favorite pastimes. I'm just in the mood to have a beer, chill out in my white tank top with my lesbros and play the guitar. Yes. Really.
But then last night, when I was trying to write a paper at 2 in the morning, I started looking through my old personal emails from my freshman year at college. There were scores of emails that I remember writing to my parents and friends. I remember reading some of my mother's to my roommate since they were so funny, one about a trip to the Bris of a friend's grandson was especially entertaining. They reminded me of when I was new here, and trying to find my gay way in the world. I wrote to my mom that I actually felt like I was, "the only gay in the village" (little Britain shout out!), and how excited I was to finally find gay women when I did. I wrote about falling in love with first rugby, and then my girlfriend (although admittedly I did write more about rugby, it was my mother after all). It reminded me of when I was excited to read foucault and hated reading the illiad. It reminded me of when we got Sappho off the ground and when I was so focused on building the community we have now. It reminded me that even though it's late on a thursday night and I'm burnt out and I'd rather go to sleep, I'm contributing to this blog because I think it's a way to make that community larger and more encompassing and even better than it already is.
So that's all for now folks. I'm going to bed, but I hope you read this and it reminds you of your past and being excited about something.
Bulldykes, Bulldykes, bow wow wow.