An online space for queer, questioning, lesbian, bi, trans and everything else in between women at Yale

Friday, February 11, 2011

How to Flirt with Women

I knew I was bi long before I got to college, but I vehemently denied it until, say, three weeks into freshman year. I don’t know why the prospect of being queer scared me so much: my aunt has been in relationships with women for as long as I can remember, and my parents told me from a very early age that they didn’t care who I loved as long as they loved me back. I honestly have no idea what it was. But I’m not here to psychoanalyze myself. I’m here to talk about a less-expected consequence of my late-blooming bisexuality: my complete and utter ignorance of how to flirt with women.

I know how to flirt with men. I’ve been taught how, subconsciously and consciously, ever since I was a little kid and first read the titles on the cover of Cosmo. I know how to play hard to get, how to make eye contact, and how to drop those subtle hints. BUT OH MY HEAVENS do I clam up when there are sexy women around. Maybe it’s a result of denying my own attractions for so long, but attractive women make me so much more nervous than men! I get clumsy, I get giggly… I honestly think I just missed my pre-teen awkward phase with women, and now I’m entirely entrenched. I can’t stop playing with my hair, and I think I even batted my eyelashes once or twice. Pathetic.

I don’t know how to attract a woman’s attention. Admittedly, I present on the femme side of bi, and I suppose my interest in women is hard to pick up from a once-over. But I just want to know: how do I let women know that I like them too? I want to take advantage of being at Yale. I know so many wonderful queer women here, and the LGBT Co-Op parties are undeniably the most fun on campus. But I don’t know how to kick the quivering, nervous queer girl out of my chest and replace her with a woman who won’t trip over her own feet when a pretty girl looks her way.

Is that REALLY so much to ask?! Come on, ladies, notice me. I’m right here. You’ll recognize me as the awkward one giggling in the corner and staring at all the lovely faces in the crowd.


Katie Miller said...

I think you'll get the hang of it :)

Anonymous said...

homework: try to flirt with a random girl stranger this week, and report back next week on how it went. :) practice, practice...

Anonymous said...

I agree with the person above me! Great idea! Daammnnn Hilay's gonna be buussyyyy... watchout ladies! Hilary's got homework to do!

Hilary said...

Good idea, people above me :) I'm going to IvyQ this weekend so maybe I'll meet someone there to practice on, haha.

Aladdin said...

IvyQ is definitely the place to get some practice...you have the whole weekend to explore, but don't have to worry about potential awkward future meetings. If something doesn't work, who cares? You'll be back in New Haven, safe and sound, in a matter of days. Plus, knowing you went for it will give you a renewed sense of confidence (even if sparks didn't fly). Every time you put yourself out there, you're marking it that much easier for the next time :D

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Hot gossip said...

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Alexander Brayden said...

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socialposter said...

Cool a nice blog this is very much close to one of my websites - How to Talk to Women :-)