An online space for queer, questioning, lesbian, bi, trans and everything else in between women at Yale

Wednesday, March 3, 2010


When I first came out, I was a proud member of the lesbian team. I didn't actively disparage my bi friends, but I definitely laughed at jokes that needled women who slept with cisgender men (which of course also implicated women that slept with transmen, a team I proudly joined later down the line of my queer existence)

As I've grown up, and grown into more and more identities--queer, Femme, kinky--I've realized what a tragic mistake and injustice I committed by ignoring or hurting a beautiful sector of my community. And unfortunately, I *still* see it happening all the time in small moments, little jokes, random remarks in blog posts, over facebook, etc.

I'm often charged with being "too politically correct" ::shrug:: I believe we have a responsibility to the world to be kind and compassionate, and one of the ways we can do that is to be intentional and respectful about our word choice, so we create an atmosphere that is supportive and open. I hope we remember that within our queer community as well.

We have to fight general society to be respected for the people we're sleeping with, let's do the same for our sisters in the community.

::kiss:: Sugar


Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this post. As a bisexual woman who love-love-loves the community of queer women I've found here at Yale, I sometimes worry: would my wonderful Sapphic sisters still love me so much if I fell in love with a boy? Because, try as I might, I've never quite had complete control over who speaks to my heart. So thank you for reassuring me that my acceptance is not entirely contingent on the current occupant of my bed :) You're lovely.

Anonymous said...

agreed agreed! ive always felt pressure to be "more gay" and want there to be more bipride in the community!

Anonymous said...

Much love to Sugar. My identity is not defined by my current partner. I love him AND I'm queer. And I'm sick of being told that my "B" in the LGBT looks more like an "S". First of all, thats BS (haha, get it?) and second of all isn't our community all about being accepting of ALL sexualities? It's an amazing thing to be able to be in love with any type of person, and my sexuality is something I treasure. Don't try to tell me I'm not queer.