An online space for queer, questioning, lesbian, bi, trans and everything else in between women at Yale

Friday, April 9, 2010


Hey kids,

I'm sure everyone has already seen this, but I'd like to do a close analysis, if you will.

So the basic story is that on an episode of Family Feud, Ellen DeGeneres was a topic. The first part of the family happily shouts out the obvious things: "She's gay!" "She's funny!" "She likes to dance a lot!" Ding Ding Ding! Applause applause applause. And then, the patriarch of the family, with a strangely matter-of-fact tone, says into the microphone:

"She's doesn't like our country very much."

The father has a smirk of satisfaction. The family claps awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Then the screen goes to the board and apparently, Ellen DeGeneres is not known for hating America.

I have a few questions, but one above the rest: Why the fuck would you ever say this? Ever? Has homophobia gone so far as to be a central country value? Is that how Ellen shows her distaste in the country? I'm sorry, but when our founding fathers were in a cramped room in the middle of July with no twentieth century air-conditioning I doubt that they were thinking at any point:

"Oh yeah, we should hint that munching carpet is unpatriotic. It just goes against the vision, man. And it will really piss of Britain; those bitches are known for being lesbionic."

Maybe he believes that all showbiz types hate America. Yep, not like the people of this country essentially created that concept or anything. Oh, by the way guys, Steven Spielberg and Oprah hate America, too. In fact, any famous person that is either not-white, homosexual, female, and also remotely interesting is probably plotting with the terrorists in Yemen or something to bring out country down.

I sincerely hope this guy is so embarrassed by what he said. And I hope his embarrassment knocks the stupidity out of his head and out of everyone else's who thinks this was a sensible comment.

Additionally, Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi are fifty times hotter than those assholes Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. There, I said it.


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